5 Things to Increase Happiness in Your Relationship

About 6 months ago, we started a daily flow that was supposed to increase your personal happiness in 21 days. It was first suggested to us by a friend (thanks Aerin!) and then our mom via a TED Talk by Shawn Achor.

We tried it for 21 days at first, and then continued doing it periodically ever since.

The five things you were supposed to do for 21 days are as follows:

1. 3 Gratitudes

2. Journaling

3. Exercise

4. Meditation

5. Random Acts of Kindness

We will define each further, but keep in mind that each item is open to your own interpretations.

Here is how we did each of the five things over 21 days:

1. 3 Gratitudes—we wrote down three gratitudes on a notes app on our phones when we first woke up. These gratitudes usually included people we valued and why we were grateful for them.

2. Journaling—the gratitudes easily transitioned into journaling about a positive memory we had the previous day.

3. Exercise—there is no requirement here other than moving your body to the way you feel. That could be stretching, jogging, yoga. Your choice. We used a couple different workout apps (shout out to the Workout for Women app) to do 7-15 minute workouts once or twice a day. It helps to understand that scientific research between doing nothing and doing something is much more important than doing something and doing a lot.

4. Meditation—always the hardest one for us, but using Calm, HeadSpace, or our personal favorite, the Breathe app, helps to get even 5 minutes a day of silent thought/meditation in.

5. Random Acts of Kindness—this is the most fun one for us! We often message friends a paragraph or two of reasons why we love them, or do random acts of kindness for strangers. Our gratitudes and journaling often come into play here, because it reminds us of why we cherish someone.

After we enjoyed doing the 21 days program so much and saw it’s effect on us being more easy going, chill, positive people, we thought: Why isn’t there something like this for couples!

So, we created a daily partner plan for those couples, life partners, and husband-wife duos out there. Do this for 21 days to get closer to your partner.

1. Gratitudes for your partner

2. Ask relationship questions

3. Physical touch moments

4. Random act of kindness for your partner

5. Embrace before sleep

Like before there is room for interpretation, but here’s how we intended each point:

1. Gratitudes for your partner—you can journal this first if you want, but tell your partner one thing you love about them daily.

2. Ask relationship questions—find the right time do to this, but ask your partner one question about your relationship. Some examples would be: What are you looking forward to today? Is there anything I can do for you? How did you feel when this happened? We especially like the morning ask of what your day looks like for busy people, because it gives you a chance to set expectations and be proactive with your communication.

3. Physical touch moments—find time to massage, hug, kiss, and make loving physical touches with each other at least once per day.

4. Random act of kindness for your partner—this can be as small as saying, “I Love You,” in a different way than usual, or reading their love language and doing something special for them.

5. Embrace before sleep—wish each other goodnight, give a kiss, end the day on a love note.

We hope these two plans bring more happiness into your life. Try the personal or couples plans and let us know how you feel after!