Our Wedding Festival Story
A tale of two quirky Minnesotans on a unique love adventure.
I married Danyelle Ludwig on August 12, 2017 and I have the runes to prove it. Norse runes to be specific — symbolic of our lives together and designed by hand for my ring, which I wore before the wedding, because, well, I didn’t want to be the only one without an engagement ring.
The story really starts 11 years ago in Little Valhalla (i.e. Minnesota). Danyelle and I met in a little town called Savage at a big restaurant you may know as The Cheesecake Factory (Drake’s favorite). It was a blind double date that turned into something much bigger and more powerful.
Over the next decade, we evolved quite a bit from what started as two modest and shy Midwestern kids. (True story: I actually told Danyelle I loved her for the first time by saying, “I like you more than like.”)
We also migrated. We first moved to Minneapolis from the ‘burbs. Then we made a few pit stops in Black Rock City before landing in San Francisco.
Sure enough, we spent more and more time being weird. We made art. We embraced who we were as individuals and grew as a couple.
So, when we set out to have an official love ceremony, we deemed it would be a “wedding festival” full of our energy and gratitude for our tribe. It would have rituals and traditions as well as surprises and delights. It would encourage exploration and curiosity. It would be old and new. It would be us.
The Process
Writing our own vows, crafting a custom ceremony, and basically everything else our guests experienced that night was important to us. We cared a lot about the flow of the event and wanted to keep energy and excitement high throughout.
Above images: My venue layout drawing vs. Danyelle’s. Guess which one of us is a professional event planner?
As most married couples know, wedding planning was a breeze and we were totally on the same page every step of the way.
I’m pulling your leg. Planning a party for all of your closest friends and family while trying to make it representative of you and your partner is actually quite a challenge. Our saving grace: a 17-tab Google spreadsheet we titled ‘Wedding Awesomeness.’ It started with this template that we edited heavily.
Our motto: we are not ordinary, so our wedding will not be ordinary. We wanted new elements introduced throughout the night, creativity encouraged, and curiosity rewarded. Here’s how we pulled it off.
Above images: A drum line, custom art, hookah, fire (LOTS of fire), henna, a mini donut bar, trails in the woods leading to secret treasure, tarot card readings, and so much more.
Okay, back to the emotional stuff. After most of our wedding guests told us that they cried during our ceremony (I know I definitely did), a few special friends encouraged us to publish our vows in full, so here they are.
Danyelle’s Vows
Tristan's Vows
Here’s our whole script and flow of the ceremony if you are looking for some structured inspiration.
Creating a lifestyle
How do we take the wedding magic we cultivated and incorporate it into our daily lives? That’s the million-dollar question. To our advantage, we’ve already been searching for the answer long before we tied the knot. Here are a few ways we infused excitement into more of our festivities, and how we plan to keep it going.
1. A combined bachelor/ette party sailing in the British Virgin Islands with 20 of our favorite people.
We curated mystery with an island scavenger hunt and themed dress up days.
2. We celebrated our honeymoon at Burning Man with close friends, where the magic came full circle. Our ceremonial arch showed up in a bit of a playa miracle with help from its creator, Joel Sisson, a fellow Minnesotan who we met at our very first burn.
3. We plan on taking a sabbatimoon (sabbatical honeymoon) around the world in 2018 and will share all of our oddities and adventures on our (brand new!) couples Instagram account @wedidthat.
A word of advice: you don’t have to have a big wedding, go to a festival in the desert, or travel around the world to find wonder. There are plenty of things you can do every day to create joy:
Say hi to strangers. One other person in the elevator with you? Make it a little less awkward.
Help someone without asking. Go ahead, hold a door open. Let someone go in front of you in line. Kindness makes us all happier.
Make more jokes. No matter how Dad-like they are. ;)
Look up from your phone. There’s a lot to see out there, and you’ll be more likely to interact with your surroundings if you aren’t looking down.
Have patience. Patience with your partner, your family, and especially with people you don’t know.
Overall, make space. Give yourself time to do the things that matter to you. Try walking to work instead of driving, or blocking time one morning every week for creativity.
Thank You
This kind of thing wouldn’t be possible without a lot of help from a lot of friends.
Videos: Pierce Cameron Larick and Simon at New Revolution Media
Wedding photos: Jennifer Morgan Photography <--- see all the photos
Wedding Planner: See Jane Plan
Officiant: Crazy Uncle Abe
Invitations: Song & Pen
Fire dancers: Dan Moraine & Star Walker
Henna: Mehndi Moments
Bluegrass Band: High 48s
DJ: We Dance Today
Flowers: Passion Blooms
Dress: Calla Blanche via The Wedding Shoppe
Hookah: Mediterranean Cruise Cafe
Spinning Egg: Tory Roff
Arch, Rocking Horses, Double Deer Head: Joel Sisson
Tarot Cards: Lady Tar
Dinner: Pizzeria 201
Donuts: Rebel Donut Bar
Late Night Snack: Galactic Pizza
Hotels: Mystic Lake Casino & Holiday Inn
Minnesota Mules: J-Gibs from Vom Fass
Photo Booth: Traveling Photo Booth
Honeyfund: Zola
Wedding website: The Knot
And so much love to everyone that has supported us in our coupledom and our lives. We think of you often.
Love,
Danyelle & Tristan
Originally published on Medium.